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No Hard Feelings

April 7, 2007 - Florida State League (FSL1)
Brevard County Manatees News Release


The Brevard County Manatees head north 75 miles to Daytona Beach to face the Cubs for game three of this four game set. Season Ticket Holders, your season ticket holder card gets you in free. Game time is 7:05 at Jackie Robinson Ballpark. The Manatees have Steve Garrison on the mound tonight. The Cubs have somebody that didn't play at ND. The carpool caravan will head up sometime this afternoon. Fans, make sure you stop by your neighborhood RaceTrac location and gas up and get your tailgate items. If you're one of these boneheads that like paying $7 for that double-latte, frappachinos, grande-venti mud-slush with lite-whipped creme with a splash or cinnamon dust at those yuppie coffee shops, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, it's your money...but if you want a better selection and don't want to have to ransom your first born for the cost of that morning coffee, stop by RaceTrac and save some serious cash. Ladies, here's the bonus: clean restrooms. RaceTrac is the official gas station of the Manatees...this isn't your dad's 'filling station!'

Last night's thrilling end, a 3-2 victory in 11 innings, had fans talking. Lots of questions after the game, mostly from upset Notre Dame fans:

1. Why did you play the USC fight song when Notre Dame Wide Receive now Daytona Cubs Pitcher Jeff Samardzjia was warming up?

Because we can. No, we call it Psychological Operations in Outdoor Baseball Arenas, or POOBA for short. Anytime you can rattle the opponents with theme music, chants, heckles, hexes, etc.., you have to take advantage of that. Our Grand POOBA (think the Flintstones and Fred's Lodge), Nate Boone, took it upon himself to control destiny...thanks, Nate. When I was in Uncle Sugar's Army for 14 years we called this PsyOps and those mind-control guys in Intel were really good at it. Really good. When I participated in the Invasion of Panama in 1989 with the 82d Airplane Gang we watched those Intel guys blast some rock music at the Vatican Embassy where Manuel Noriega was holed up. It worked then, it worked again last night, because the Pope's Emissary 'encouraged' Noriega to leave his embassy 'voluntarily.' Manatees fans can thank Uncle Sam for devising those techniques and never again should you complain about paying taxes for military spending. Most everybody thought it was funny last night, even an unnamed member of the Daytona Cubs team called me on my cell phone from the dugout as it happened, laughing about it, even they saw the humor in it...It's Minor League Baseball...you gotta have a sense of humor or you gotta go work in polo or cricket in Europe...many of the Notre Dame faithful took it personally, but like Oneri Fleita, the Cubs Director of Player Development said, "Hey, the kid's (Samardzija) played in front of 80,000-plus fans and there's nothing a Minor League team in Florida is going to throw at him that's going to rattle him." Excellent point...next question.

2. Why did you play the USC fight song again in the 2nd inning when Samardzija warmed up?

Because Grand POOBA Nater the Tater, the controller of the sound system, decided, like Cialis, that the timing was right. Like Miller Lite's slogan, "Good Call, Nate." Seriously, did you see Samardzija's face when it came back on? Like Master Card says, "Priceless." Are we doing shameless commercials here? I think not. We're not sellouts, but we are willing to learn! On another note, although he didn't show like Bill Parcells, Bobby Knight, Ron Wolf and other notables did during spring training, ND Head Football Coach Charlie Weis was supposedly in attendance last night but he never made it known. He might have been hanging in a luxury suite with some Daytona Cubs players agents, but we don't know. They did have a suite last night.

I know, I know, you can't please 100% of the fans all of the time...but when it comes down to making a decision on the music, I'm going to do whatever takes to help my team win every time. Not some of the time, not part of the time, but all the time; our guys are going to get the advantage every time when it comes to playing at Space Coast Stadium. I don't care if my own twin brother is on the other team. Heck, I'd tell our pitchers to throw inside at him when he was at the plate just to get him rattled. I'd tell our catcher his dirty little secrets that he could whisper to him while he was batting. If last night's pitcher for the Cubs was from the Duke University Lacrosse team we would've been playing the theme song from Law & Order or CSI or something like that and there wouldn't have been one ND fan here...nothing personal, just an opportunity that presented itself and our interns took full advantage of it...As a hard-core Minnesota Vikings fan from the Fox Valley in Wisconsin (I know, now I've cheesed off the Packers fans...just not my day, is it?) I would've played the Love Boat Theme song if I had a former Vikings player throwing against us last night...Deal with it, America. In fact, for those going to Daytona Beach tonight, you can remember only too well the pain of the lullaby music and baby crying sound bites that the Cubs music guy plays every time our players come to bat. Cliché time: it is what it is...this is Cubs and Brewers baseball and there's no time for sensitivity here. This is 75 miles of pavement separated by the kind of beer you drink, the attitude of your fans and who has the better stadium; and we're not talking about Wrigley Field and Miller Park.

Like they say, have a Coke and a Smile. Are these plugs shameless? Scott Pinner, our Media Guru, just walked in and said no, so I'm going to continue. If it'll help win over the Notre Dame fans, we'll host a Notre Dame Night at the Ballpark...pick a date or we'll do it the next time Jeff comes back (because judging by the Manatees ability to make contact on his pitches, he'll certainly be back). OH, SNAP, YOU DIDN'T GO THERE. Notre Dame fans, you want your own night? Call (321) 633-9200 and we'll help you set it up. We've had Notre Dame players on our roster in the past and we've promoted Notre Dame in the ballpark before, like Steve Sollmann last year, a really fantastic guy, but we never had a large Notre Dame following come out to cheer him on, but then Steve didn't play football and baseball. Golden Domers, you want your night, you got it. No hard feelings. And if 1000 Notre Dame fans come out on that night one of you can shave my head at home plate because I don't think you will. I think you'll come to see a ND alum pitch against us and that's it, but you won't come to a Manatees game to see a Manatees game. But I'll make you that offer: I'll give up my head of hair for an extra 1,000 fans sitting in the stands whether you're rooting for or against us. Pick the night. There's not a GM in Minor League Baseball that wouldn't. Heck, I have Ben Wein, a.k.a the Weiner, on staff who'll join me, he just doesn't know it yet. Who's accepting that challenge? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Heck, I'll get every guy on the staff to shave his head if you sell the park out and I'll have 'em wearing ND t-shirts for the night while they're losing their hair because there's nothing our guys won't do to have fun this season and we'll put a smile on those ND faces before the summer is out. I'll even come be a guest speaker at the following ND Club's next meeting and show off my Golden Chrome Domed oddly -shaped shaved head full of scars and nicks and they can laugh at me. But the offer is there.

3. Why the Brewers flag in the outfield?

Because we're proud to be a part of the Brewers family. The Brewers, already a tight-knit organization, sent a memo to all their affiliates this spring. The Milwaukee Brewers are not a team to sit on the sidelines and watch what happens. Their approach is cutting edge. In the memo they reinforced the organization's commitment to each affiliate's community. They're very active in community events and they want Brevard County residents to know that their players and coaches are proud to belong here and make the community a better place to live. The Brewers asked all their affiliates to add a Brewers presence to the ballpark so we asked for a flag to start. Additionally, if you look close at the Manatees jerseys you will notice that we are, like the rest of the Brewers teams, wearing Milwaukee Brewers patches on our sleeves this season. This is something new this season in the Brewers organization. It's a show of solidarity from top to bottom. We'd like to thank our friends at Crest Cleaners for providing the sewing for these patches. Crest Cleaners, the official cleaners of your Brevard County Manatees...for all your sewing and dry cleaning needs. Crest Cleaners are the folks that can repair torn pants when a runner slides into 2nd and blows out the back end.

Speaking of flags...the Manatees staff purchased a POW Flag that is also flying alongside our Nation's Colors in centerfield. We will not forget. We ask that Manatees fans, when you're standing during the National Anthem and you see those three flags out there, please don't forget either that this is a wonderful game, but that there are men and women giving us the freedom to play this game, and some of them are still unaccounted for and never coming home. Never forget.

Let's recap: if you come to a Manatees game, have a sense of humor...if you're looking for something to do tonight, drive up I-95 and join us as we give the Cubs a dose of Bad-Manataeeism...coffee is better, less expensive and certainly easier to get at RaceTrac locations than it is at Buckstars House of Java and Wireless and Uncle Sam invented the Jedi-Mind Dump; we just implement occasionally at the yard.

Like Mike Veeck says, "Fun is good."

Like Intern Zach Fether says, "It's all fun until somebody loses an eye. Then it's freakin' hilarious."

Like Larry says in the movie Bull Durham, "Lolly-gaggers."

See you in the cheap seats tonight in Daytona Beach.

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Florida State League Stories from April 7, 2007


The opinions expressed in this release are those of the organization issuing it, and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts or opinions of OurSports Central or its staff.

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